Vampire Craze - SOS...literally

Ok, maybe by now you've all come to the conclusion that I may be a little OCD when it comes to vampires. But seriously, the fan-girl (and yes, it was started by girls) wave of vampire adoration has started a book revolution.


I mean, something has to be done when there is a VAMPIRE ROMANCE BOOK website as well as newspaper articles talking about the impact of pop culture on teens as 'vampires' are arrested.


Authors are in a Christmas Eve-shopper-like rush to think up identical storylines that will please their teen audience. Here are a few examples (some will sound familiar):

• The Twilight Series (The books that started it all)
• Dead Until Dark (And then what happens...they sparkle?)
• Club Dead (I wonder how many members this club has?)
• Diary of a Wimpy Vampire (Someone shoot me - started out as a diary about a kid called Greg Heffley and some loser took it and 'vampirifided' it)
• Masquerade (I thought it was a 'Phantom of the Opera' song, but never mind...)
• Circus of the Damned (About time Edward realised his true calling)

Now all you vampire fans calm down - there was a point in time that (I'll admit it) Edward seemed like the hottest thing since Lindt chocolate, but there came a time when I questioned the lack of character development and plot. I have nothing against, say, 'Dracula' - who by the way is the BEST vampire because he ACTS like one.


I was researching people's opinions on this topic when I came across http://vampirescafe.com/omg-i-hate-vampires/ where there was this girl going on about how anti-Twilighters are bad, blah blah blah. The interesting thing were the responses.


As one guy on that forum chat thing put up, "If you’re going to write about vampires, make it something unique to you. Make it make sense. You can write about a vampire falling in love with a human girl but tell a GOOD story…give historical background/facts about vampires but include some of your own." Too right. There's nothing wrong with vampire novels. Just the fact that they all seem to be exactly alike.


I like the next girl, who said, "...one of your teeny bopper rants. I’m 15 I like some vampire books like The Vampire Chronicles by ann rice. I’m not a twi fan though. It is a matter of an opinion. You may not be stupid but you are immature. Good for you for jumping on the vampire bandwagon by writing a vamp book. Shut the hell up and go kiss your edward poster." 


And the girl has a point - it's all a matter of opinion. So why can't authors stop shoving this stuff down our throats? It's as if we have no choice, because vampire/werewolf/undead/angel/everything else romance novels seem to be all that's out there.


Look at 'The Mortal Instruments'. (SPOILER) Clary's best friend Simon becomes a vampire - but a cool, funny, (non-stalkerish), still her best friend, brave, noble (and everything Edward isn't) vampire. He doesn't pine after girls who don't want him, or growl at the guys who want the girl that he wants. He is still Simon. And he's one of my favourite characters. (Love you Cassandra Clare!)


Now for the bloodshed. If anyone asks, I LOVE classics - L-O-V-E. So when people start messing with classics and try to sell them with, say, THIS kind of cover...


I get REALLY mad.


In case you can't read what that red sticker says, it reads, "Bella and Edward's favourite book". That paired off with "Love Never Dies" is enough to make me run for the hills (NOT singing "The Hills Are Alive") screaming "I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!"


What happened to the beautiful watercolour painting front covers? The leather bound editions? The old-fashioned beauty of books BEFORE Bella decides she needs money for new contacts lens' and uses her name coupled with Edward's to sell classic novels. Just because Emily Bronte beat Stephanie when it came to unrequited love tales, DOES NOT mean classics can be defiled in this appalling manner!


*lets out breath* OCD moment over...can breathe again.


Note to any authors that happen to stumble over this humble blog: Please follow the example of Cassandra Clare, Erynn Mangum, Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, Suzanne Collins, Cornelia Funke, J.K Rowling, L.M Montgomery and so many more and write books that will inspire readers and help the teen ones become either better people, better educated or even open their minds to new worlds and characters that will live with them forever.


I mean, Harry Potter is still going strong and it hasn't got a single vampire. So apparently:


Vampire + Book + Romance DOES NOT = WORLD-RENOWNED NOVEL


Rant over. Now that I've throughly made all anti-vampire people happy, the fence-sitters thoughtful and the Twi-hards outraged, I think I'll bid you all a great rest of the day.


And luck with your next book-shopping adventure.


Happy Reading!
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